A Cain/Perry Debate

November 10, 2011 § Leave a comment

This will never happen in the real world.( But could it? Cue fiendish music here)

Moderator: Hello and welcome.

Perry: Hi-ho! Woot.

Cain: Herman says hi to you.

Moderator: I don’t think anyone’s asked you just where you people come from.

Cain: Herman has been many places. My CV is actually quite large, even though it looks like I don’t know what I just wandered into.

Perry: I ran with my yell group. I would like to say that this is not gay behavior. I drove a big, scary bomber, and harassed the freshmen! Don’t say I’m gay! I need nappies.

Moderator: We’ll be done in 15 minutes because the blogger will run out of smartass things to say and give up. Ok?

Perry: Works for me.

Moderator: Mr. Cain, you have been suspected of at least 4-5 counts of sexual harassment. Any others you’d like to confirm here?

Cain: All claims about Herman are bogus.

Moderator: It’s plain as day. You are using a classic, scumbucket tactic known as “blame the victim”. I can see how you would like to climb above this seeing how you are such a self made man, but clearly Atlas Shrugged and you got hit on your way down. Classic elitist; the rules don’t apply to you.

Cain: Herman has no responses. All allegations against me are false. When I say 9-9-9, I’m actually trying to drown you out short of sticking my fingers in my ear and going “na-na-na”. I bet you didn’t know that.

Moderator: I did not. I have to move on.

Perry: Cute, blogger.

Cain: Can we talk about my plan?

Moderator: I thought we just did. Let Rick say what he needs to say.

Perry:Thanks! I’ve been waiting for “Herman” to let me talk.

Moderator: Remember, talking is not your strong suit.

Perry: What I like to talk about is taxes-flat tax rates for everyone. Know why? Because the tax code is too complicated.

Moderator: Actually,they aren’t hard to file. These days, you can use software or have someone like Jackson Hewitt do it immediately. Generally, you find them by looking at the little people swinging signs around in January, many of which say “Godfather’s Pizza”, I bet.

Perry: So I have no platform other than whatever I cribbed from Ron Paul before he spoke. Didja see how I did that? That didn’t go too well. I miss that place with the syrup. They liked me. I think.

Moderator: Good enough. I need a Xanax if this is what it comes down to. Good night, and God bless us all because we need saving now more than ever.

The Stupidest Candidate

November 7, 2011 § Leave a comment

Would you believe, wouldn’t you bet your life that Michele Bachmann might be brighter than a frontrunner?

While whoring out for his book and campaigning for president at the same time, it has become public knowledge that he is a scuzz bucket. And much to his chagrin, she is blabbing on him for some pretty ugly stuff. He denies it.

That’s what Bill Clinton did. Learn a lesson from Big Daddy. Just leave, Herman. The GOP will let you creep back into the fold, and then you can be your own man again. But right now, you are TOAST. I’ll toast to that, because I am tired of Herman Cain, even though I have written several posts about him. It’s just that I can’t get my head around how stupid this guy is and he wants to be my president. Unacceptable.

All Quiet On The Wingnut Front

November 3, 2011 § Leave a comment

It’s far from quiet where they are concerned, but for tonight, I feel warmth and glee. Our friend the preening Herman Cain, has finally self-destructed, and there is a massive vacuum in that space that belongs to Mitt Romney, who will never, ever beat Obama.

What shall I do with my free time? I can’t bitch, everything is going my way. I am politically satisfied, correctly medicated and headed back to school. Unfortunately, they have declared me an idiot when it comes to math, so I will have to take some courses with a lot of “x”s and “y”s and slopes and stuff. Shit no human being cares about, unless you are an engineer.

Now I don’t want this blog to get as personal as it has been. It’s going to be fairly political throughout, unless something else is bugging me or I feel like being funny. You motherfuckers had better come see me. I ain’t the best blogger, but if Duncan Black can post a sentence and get 400 replies about it, then I should get some attention too. I can turn a phrase. I will use some categories so WordPressers can see me. Until then , farewell for now. Some other bozo will upset me politically soon. Maybe you will upset me soon. That’s what I’m here for.

Rick Perry Can’t Elucidate Worth Shit

October 30, 2011 § 1 Comment

Perry on SS:

Perry, a top-tier Republican presidential candidate, said that current recipients shouldn’t worry about his reform plans. “If you’re on it or approaching it,” Perry said, your Social Security benefits wouldn’t change. But for others, he said, “give them a private account or whatever it is.”

Or whatever it is.

Think about that for a minute.

The man’s answer to a steaming hot button question utters things like “whatever it is” when asked about his new plan for Social Security.

This is common for Republicans; even they don’t know what they stand for. They’re all so desperate now that they will say any code as long as they think it will tighten the grip on “the base”, meaning the uninformed jackasses they call potential GOP voters. I think Jon Stewart said it just right, all Romney has to do is shut up and cede most of his time to the other bozos on the dais in the coming debates and this baby is a lock for him.

Update: I think those rumors about Perry being gay are for real; look at these speech clips. I don’t have the strongest gaydar, but I’m going to hazard a guess that he is a closet case. I personally don’t care; it’s his fucked up “policy” that enrages me, not the color of his fuzzy slippers. If he is (and I believe he is) a values conservative, then a double pox on his political house.

Someone In The GOP Field Has Reached Fucking Asshole Status

October 28, 2011 § 2 Comments

Which is strong, because I hate all of them for the most part. But Herman Cain, the clown prince of the week, has this to say about OWS protestors:

“I don’t have facts to back this up, but I happen to believe that these demonstrations are planned and orchestrated to distract from the failed policies of the Obama administration. Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself! … It is not a person’s fault if they succeeded, it is a person’s fault if they failed.”

You never have the facts to back anything up, you fucking cocksucker. How does he know what it’s like vying for a job where ten other applicants are being looked at? How dare you say it is someone’s fault that they are not rich when there are are so many roadblocks to prosperity in certain regions of the country? What do you know? You are not just a fucking asshole, you are cruel.

Fuck you, Cain and your toothy smile. I’ve seen your fucked up commercials, sat through your misstatements, and your elitism. I cannot believe this guy is in the running for president. What does that say about us?

 

Dear God, How Much More?

October 24, 2011 § 1 Comment

I thought I was finished writing about and off Herman Cain as a real candidate for the Presidency. I am wrong:

In an interview with CBN’s David Brody, Cain responded thusly to a pro-life question:

Brody: Are you for some sort of pro-life amendment to the Constitution that in essence would trump Roe v. Wade?

Cain: Yes. Yes I feel that strongly about it. If we can get the necessary support and it comes to my desk I’ll sign it. That’s all I can do. I will sign it.

??????… I guess we are in for more clarifying remarks. Even I am dimly aware that the President can’t do a damn thing about a Constitutional amendment. If we are to believe that the stupidest campaign wins, it’s neck and neck between Bachmann and Cain. If the money game wins, you get Mitt. The GOP is in tremendous danger of putting the wrong fool out on the stump. I give Cain a few more days, maybe end of this week to gaffe himself into obscurity. It’s Romney by a nose.

The Liars’ Club

October 24, 2011 § 1 Comment

Just so we are clear that Mitt Romney will say anything to get elected, here’s this:

As several leading Republican presidential candidates embrace a flat tax as a core campaign position, one contender stands out in not doing so: Mitt Romney, who has a long record of criticizing such plans and famously derided Steve Forbes’s 1996 proposal as a “tax cut for fat cats.” 

Lately, though, his tone has been more positive. “I love a flat tax,” he said in August.

This fucker is impossible to pin down. Thank goodness someone at the Times has a decent memory. Perhaps Mitt is looking in his rearview and seeing that Mr. Pizza is closer than he appears. He should have more courage, ignore others’ positions and run on his record, but what we see seems to show what Mitt truly is-an empty-suit by definition that will say just about anything he needs to say in order to win this fucking nomination. He’ll get the nod, but Obama is going to kick the shit out of him with aplomb. There will be no shortage of ammunition for the President to use. Expect flip-flop sales to spike.

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    • A Cain/Perry Debate November 10, 2011
      This will never happen in the real world.( But could it? Cue fiendish music here) Moderator: Hello and welcome. Perry: Hi-ho! Woot. Cain: Herman says hi to you. Moderator: I don’t think anyone’s asked you just where you people come from. Cain: Herman has been many places. My CV is actually quite large, even though […]
      Ron
    • The Stupidest Candidate November 7, 2011
      Would you believe, wouldn’t you bet your life that Michele Bachmann might be brighter than a frontrunner? While whoring out for his book and campaigning for president at the same time, it has become public knowledge that he is a scuzz bucket. And much to his chagrin, she is blabbing on him for some pretty […]
      Ron
    • All Quiet On The Wingnut Front November 4, 2011
      It’s far from quiet where they are concerned, but for tonight, I feel warmth and glee. Our friend the preening Herman Cain, has finally self-destructed, and there is a massive vacuum in that space that belongs to Mitt Romney, who will never, ever beat Obama. What shall I do with my free time? I can’t […]
      Ron
    • Rick Perry Can’t Elucidate Worth Shit October 30, 2011
      Perry on SS: Perry, a top-tier Republican presidential candidate, said that current recipients shouldn’t worry about his reform plans. “If you’re on it or approaching it,” Perry said, your Social Security benefits wouldn’t change. But for others, he said, “give them a private account or whatever it is.” Or whatever it is. Think about that […]
      Ron
    • Someone In The GOP Field Has Reached Fucking Asshole Status October 28, 2011
      Which is strong, because I hate all of them for the most part. But Herman Cain, the clown prince of the week, has this to say about OWS protestors: “I don’t have facts to back this up, but I happen to believe that these demonstrations are planned and orchestrated to distract from the failed policies […]
      Ron
    • Dear God, How Much More? October 24, 2011
      I thought I was finished writing about and off Herman Cain as a real candidate for the Presidency. I am wrong: In an interview with CBN’s David Brody, Cain responded thusly to a pro-life question: Brody: Are you for some sort of pro-life amendment to the Constitution that in essence would trump Roe v. Wade? […]
      Ron
    • The Liars’ Club October 24, 2011
      Just so we are clear that Mitt Romney will say anything to get elected, here’s this: As several leading Republican presidential candidates embrace a flat tax as a core campaign position, one contender stands out in not doing so: Mitt Romney, who has a long record of criticizing such plans and famously derided Steve Forbes’s […]
      Ron
    • Really, Rick? October 23, 2011
      Is it possible that a ‘serious’ candidate for the GOP nomination is waffling on the Birther issue. Why, yes it is, kids: Governor, do you believe that President Barack Obama was born in the United States? I have no reason to think otherwise. That’s not a definitive, “Yes, I believe he”— Well, I don’t have […]
      Ron
    • Cain In Vain October 22, 2011
      Finally, we get to watch the plug pulled on Herman Cain, but Black Walnut isn’t going down without a yelp for help: “In a couple of instances … I misspoke because of the pace of the interview. I don’t call it a flip-flop. I’d rather come back and explain to people what I really meant,” […]
      Ron
    • Explain, Cain October 21, 2011
      Herb wants to have it both ways on abortion: “Abortion should not be legal, that is clear. But if that family made a decision to break the law, that’s that family’s decision, that’s all I’m trying to say,” he said. CNN’s Piers Morgan asked Cain Wednesday about his view on abortion in the case of […]
      Ron
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