Atlas Blogs

I have only been up to have breakfast, maybe a half hour. I’ve got MSNBC on and am perusing the HuffPo, which is how I usually start my liberally biased day. And god damn it, the top story everywhere involves a blogger, a detestable creature named Pamela Geller. And now here I am writing about her, which irritates me even more. But her little band of pigfucking Islam haters put on a little art show that attracted some violent attention.

I’d like to thank the dunderheads who attacked this convention because now you have made that chardonnay-swilling JAP a household name. The world was doing just fine tolerating her mess of a website.

I think what irks me the most is that Geller couched this stunt in the cloak of free speech. And it follows that sadly, I support her right to be a shrieking, bigoted attention-needing harpy who organized this country-fried stunt for 300 drooling anti-Islamic mouth breathers, just like I supported Charlie Hebdo for their right to draw whatever the fuck they want. It pains me to do this, but I agree with Pam Geller, for once. I will go further and say I don’t give a shit if it “insults Muhammed”. You religious people have to get over some of your stupid beliefs. It’s bad enough that I have to hear about Christians being persecuted because they don’t understand the concept of birth control or that their Jesus will be sad if they arrange flowers for a gay couple. I shouldn’t have to read equivalencies like this:

I’m not saying that some Muslims (and even people of other faiths) aren’t offended and/or disgusted by the idea of Geller offering $10,000 for people to draw despicable cartoons of Muhammad. This is akin to offering a prize for people to draw the most anti-Semitic or racist images imaginable, with the true goal being to stoke the flames of hate versus Jews or Blacks.

What? Give me a break. There is a holocaust behind anti-Semitic imagery. There is a stain on our nation’s character and a crime against humanity behind racist imagery. That is why it’s mighty fucked up to draw them or otherwise use them. But drawing a picture of the prophet? What inexcusable atrocity has been committed against Islam that those images evoke? None that I am aware of. It was written in one of your stupid books and like all religions, that seems to mean you have to go and inflict it on the rest of us non-believers and we are supposed to put up with it. Then you think you get to go and shoot something up, unaware that you are making what you all call a “martyr” of someone like Pam Geller.

I’m not intolerant. I’m fucking impatient. I’m waiting for a world to heal itself and abandon superstitions that do no one any good. In that world, Pam Geller has to return to her ice cream and baubles and watch TV in her empty nest until she dies of loneliness. I know there are scores of tolerant, enlightened Muslims who agree that Pam Geller is free to flail about all she wants. Unfortunately, all we will remember is the dumb SOBs who prove her correct.

Let’s do something worthwhile instead. Let’s draw cartoons of Pam Geller! Here’s just a few we can get started with.



The Second Dumbest Thing

Did Ken Ham leave a bad taste of stupid in your mouth? Only in relation to him could Louie Gohmert be a palate cleanser:

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) over the weekend lashed out at Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton for calling to end mass incarceration in the United States.

“If you look at [Bill Clinton’s] policies, tough on crime, he was absolutely for traditional biblical-type marriage,” Gohmert told Fox News guest host Ed Henry. “And so she supported those back then and she’s changed. One thing that is similar, after her husband would victimize women, she would victimize them. And here again now, she’s still victimizing victims of crime.”

I didn’t mean to victimize you by having you read that. I’m just a victim of the victimizer, who victimizes himself because she victimizes the victims. Add Texas to the quarantine list, which currently includes Arizona and Arkansas by my lights.

This…This Shit Right Here

Easily the dumbest thing you will read all day. I can’t excerpt it, it’s too dense with ignorance. Utterly insulting to the suffering and science in general. Subject:

Nepal Suffering After Major Earthquake

by Ken Ham

I’m sorry.

The White Stuff

Look, I’m glad that kid lunches at school are getting healthier. But it’s no big deal, see? That square pizza and the mystery burgers did not make me fat, stunt my growth or otherwise put a damper on my ability to learn. Schools are trying to do what’s best for kids, and I can and do appreciate when they improve my child’s school experience.

But now and then the school just flat out goes too far in the application of these ostensibly benign measures to keep kids safe and healthy. Hey, Denver, cut the shit:

Four-year old Natalee Pearson came home from school on Friday with an unexpected note from the school – a scolding from the school to her mother Leeza Pearson for packing Oreo cookies in with her daughter’s lunch. The school had not allowed Natalee to eat them, taking them from her to send back home with the warning letter.

“Dear Parents, It is very important that all students have a nutritious lunch. This is a public school setting and all children are required to have a fruit, a vegetable, and a healthy snack from home, along with milk. If they have potatoes, the child will also need bread to go along with it. Lunchables, chips, fruit snacks, and peanut butter are not considered to be a healthy snack. This is a very important part of our program and we need everyone’s participation.”

Nope, fucking with a four-year old’s head is shitty. A little kid loves their treats. Moms and Dads like to let them know that we are thinking of them. The child will not come down with a chronic condition just because she has a few cookies. My wife and I can’t stand this type of policing; first you have parents treating their little squirts like precious china, trying to make sure that nothing bad ever, ever happens to them. Now the state is taking over the job? Fuck that shit. You don’t take a kindergartener’s cookies away, and you sure as hell don’t castigate me for poor parenting. I hope the mom takes this stupid shit to the top of the chain.

But Rick, He Has A Dick

When last we talked about Rick Santorum, he was busy crying to the FRC about the persecution of Christians. He made up a bunch of bullshit, some of which centered around the baking of cakes for teh gay. So it’s fairly safe to assume that Rick does not approve of gay marriage. Yes, in fact he does not. He said he would refuse to go to such a marriage if invited.

You can always rely on Santorum to play to the ultra-conservative, evangelical Christian base. They eat this shit up. Fortunately for the rest of us, Rick is what we call a “fringe” candidate. I don’t know why you would put down roots with a group that will never net you the presidency. Speaking fees? It’s as good a hustle as any, I suppose. But Rick blew my mind today. He said something recently that I thought I’d never hear from his ilk:

Former Senator Rick Santorum, a longtime culture warrior known for his conservative views on marriage equality and other social issues, said on Saturday than he believes Bruce Jenner when he says he’s a woman.

“If he says he’s a woman, then he’s a woman,” Santorum, who is weighing running for president again in 2016, said in response to a question from BuzzFeed News during a roundtable with reporters at the South Carolina Republican Party’s convention. “My responsibility as a human being is to love and accept everybody. Not to criticize people for who they are. I can criticize, and I do, for what people do, for their behavior. But as far as for who they are, you have to respect everybody, and these are obviously complex issues for businesses, for society, and I think we have to look at it in a way that is compassionate and respectful of everybody.”

I know, right? That’s so…liberal. Why would he say such a thing? When the crazy Christians hear this shit, he’s more toast than he already is. But let me get this straight-a guy can transition into a woman, get tits and wear dresses and that’s OK, but anal sex(which straight people indulge in too) and scissoring in loving, committed relationships is unacceptable? That’s not what the Bible says, and somehow fucking everything you could ever need counsel on is in there. Ask any good Christian.

I’ll try to go easy on Santorum next time he says something idiotic and insane. Aw, who am I kidding?

Screwy Louie

Did you know that the FBI was called in to investigate the lyrics of “Louie Louie” by the Kingsmen? They wrote 118 pages of analysis because some grandma complained to Bobby Kennedy about the playing and selling of the song to children. Go ahead and look; there are multiple guesses on the lyrics inside, some of them hilarious! If you don’t feel like looking, I give you a couple of great takeoffs on the song. Once again, sorry for the ads.

Bucketfuls Of Stupid

Republican lawmakers are a fucking joke. America, what have you done? Why did you elect this crop of half-wits? Let’s zoom in on Arizona for your daily laugh.

Arizona Rep. Paul Gosar last week said even though Republicans cannot impeach President Obama, they can refuse to confirm any of his appointments.

“You may not be able to impeach a president,” he said. “But boy I tell you what: remember, we have the right of advise and confer. Nobody gets confirmed. Nada. Nobody. None. I don’t care how good of a person you are. You’re not gonna get it.”

Did you miss the important part? Probably not, since you have the good sense to come here. But I’ll highlight it anyway:

Rep. Paul Gosar.

Does the House have the power to confirm presidential appointees?

Um, no. And they advise and consent, not fucking ‘confer’, you twit. Read the motherfucking Constitution beyond the 2nd Amendment. Let’s move on:

Gosar, a Republican, had been telling his audience to imagine what it would be like if Obama went down as the president who “vetoed the most bills.”

“Imagine this. Just imagine this,” the Congressman said. “Barack Obama goes down as the president who vetoed the most bills and in the succeeding election cost his party another election.”

Once again, some basic idea of what is transpiring in politics today is needed, and this rep doesn’t have that. President Obama has 368 vetoes to go before he beats Franklin D. Roosevelt. I sincerely doubt this dysfunctional Congress will be able to get that many bills to the President’s desk. Senators know this, and that’s why they don’t even bring stupid bills up for debate. The president only has to threaten a veto and the bill is dead. Okay, last one:

He proceeded to make a reference to the work of renowned Chinese military philosopher Sun Tzu.

“The Sun Tzu book I talked to you about always states, know your adversaries’ strengths and your strengths and you’ll never lose. Don’t play to your weaknesses; play to your strengths always. Always play to an enemy’s weaknesses, never their strengths.”

I don’t have to consult the Art of War to know that Sun Tzu never said anything so mind-bogglingly obvious. Of course you fucking play your strengths and go after your enemies’ weakness. My 11 year old plays chess and could probably tell me this.

Arizona should join Arkansas in statewide quarantine. No travel to sane states permitted unless the voters pick someone with a functional cerebrum.

War In Our Time

I predict his year is going to be historic. We will see the civil rights battle of our lifetime here in 2015. It will be as big as Stand At The Schoolhouse Door. It will be as big as the moon shot. It is our Roe v Wade, our Brown vs Board of Education.

I’m talking about gay marriage. It’s the last frontier. The Supreme Court will rule in favor of it in a few months. I’m gonna go long and say it will be 6-3 upholding marriage rights. There’s just no getting around the language of the Fourteenth Amendment.

My first impulse is that I should have a good laugh watching conservative heads explode. But something much more serious may happen. I think this ruling has the power to cause a civil war. Here’s what the opening salvos look like:

Former Arizona sheriff Richard Mack disparaged both the Supreme Court and Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in particular during a radio interview with a “patriot” radio show, Right Wing Watch reported.

“Those people have been put there, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a very senile and evil person, she does not like America, she does not like our Constitution,” Mack said, adding that the nomination of Justice Elena Kagan’s nomination should be a source of shame for President Barack Obama.I think this Supreme Court is bought and paid for,” Mack ranted. “I think they’re just political hacks, most of them, and they will not use moral agency or tradition or biblical principle. They’re just going to do what they’re there for.”

Here’s the meat and potatoes:

He predicted that the court would rule 5-4 to make marriage equality legal around the country and called for state governments to ignore that decision.

“The states are going to have to even more so recuse themselves from the federal government and from the Supreme Court ruling,” he said. “And it’s going to take some guts.”

Yes. That’s called nullification, which is illegal. I will make a bet with anyone that someone will stand at the door of a city hall, trying to prevent the marriage of a gay couple.

I don’t think they are going to let go on this one. I don’t think they are just going to be satisfied with ranting. I see demonstrations. I see fights in the streets.

QUICK UPDATE: Here’s another yahoo, and he’s very clear about the appropriate action that needs to be taken to stop GM. This shit is what I’m talking about:

(Tony)Perkins, the Family Research Council leader, is one of the most visible and vocal figures in the Religious Right, frequently appearing on national television and hosting his own daily radio show. Perkins also organizes an annual conference, the Values Voter Summit, which brings top Republican politicians together with Religious Right activists. But despite his veneer of respectability, Perkins is just as extreme as activists considered to be on the far-right fringe: He has spoken out in defense of Uganda’s “kill the gays” measure and called gay rights supporters Satanic, among other things.

Perkins has also taken to warning that if the Supreme Court sides with marriage equality advocates, the U.S. will see a full-blown revolution.

Perkins warned in 2012 that if the Supreme Court were to strike down same-sex marriage bans throughout the country, “I’m telling you what, I think you will create a firestorm of opposition. I think that could be the straw that broke the camel’s back, when you look at a nation that is so divided along these moral and cultural issues that you could have — I hate to use the word — a revolt, a revolution. I think you could see Americans saying, ‘you know what, enough of this,’ and I think it could explode and just break this nation apart.”

So maybe I’ll can the laughter.


“We will not obey.”

That’s the blunt warning a group of prominent religious leaders is sending to the Supreme Court of the United States as they consider same-sex marriage.

“We respectfully warn the Supreme Court not to cross that line,” read a document titled, Pledge in Solidarity to Defend Marriage. “We stand united together in defense of marriage. Make no mistake about our resolve.”

“While there are many things we can endure, redefining marriage is so fundamental to the natural order and the common good that this is the line we must draw and one we cannot and will not cross,” the pledge states.

 “We’re sending a warning to the Supreme Court and frankly any court that crosses the line on the issue of marriage,” Staver told me.

He said that once same-sex marriage is elevated to the level of protected status – it will transform the face of society and will result in the “beginning of the end of Western Civilization.”

And that means the possibility of Christians – people of faith – engaging in acts of civil disobedience.

“Yes, I’m talking about civil disobedience,” Staver said. “I’m talking about resistance and I’m talking about peaceful resistance against unjust laws and unjust rulings.”

 Dobson said the legalization of same-sex marriage could fracture the nation.

“The institution of marriage is fundamental and it must be defended,” he told me. “It’s the foundation for the entire culture. It’s been in existence for 5,000 years. If you weaken it or if

you undermine it – the entire superstructure can come down. We see it as that important.”

And that means the possibility of Christians – people of faith – engaging in acts of civil disobedience.

“Yes, I’m talking about civil disobedience,” Staver said. “I’m talking about resistance and I’m talking about peaceful resistance against unjust laws and unjust rulings.”

“For about 50 years the homosexual community has had as its goal to change the culture, to change the ideology and if necessary – to force people who don’t agree by use of the courts,”

Dobson told me. “I think there’s a collision here and we can all see it and where it’s going to go is anybody’s guess – but it is serious.”

Fuckwad, that is all you and me agree on.

I LIED TO YOU: The august and erudite Alan Keyes calls for revolution too. I know I’m going down a rabbit hole, but people listen to these howling mad prophets of doom.

If the United States Supreme Court presumes to impose any redefinition of marriage on the states, respectively, or the people, without addressing the issue of unalienable right it involves, with reasoning that respects God-endowed right (which is the logic by which the American people asserted, and still claim to possess and exercise, sovereign authority over themselves), the Court’s decision will be an attack on the very foundation of constitutional government, of by and for the people of the United States. It will be a high crime and misdemeanor that effectively dissolves the just bonds of government between and among the states, and among the individuals who compose the people of the United States. It will therefore be just cause for war.

He’s so smart. I bet he writes the new Constitution for the new country they want to form.




Hide The Sausage

Fuck politicians who vote against gay rights. Triple-de-fuck the ones that are gay and do it:

North Dakota state Rep. Randy Boehning (R) has come out as a member of the LGBT community after he was caught sending explicit photos on a gay dating app.

Boehning…voted against a bill earlier this month that would extend housing, workplace and other protections to LGBT North Dakota residents.

He doesn’t quite match the scumbag example set by Larry Craig, though. You have a lot more dicks to suck before you reach that pinnacle, Randy. Now do the right thing and resign, motherfucker. The Christians will be coming for your head soon.

Freshman ’15

What is Tom Cotton’s actual damage over Iran? He’s obsessed with them, and I’d like to know why. He doesn’t know where Tehran is. Drafted the snotty look-down letter from the Senate Republicans informing Iran how our government works. Gets into a Twitter fight with their foreign minister. And now he’s going to take a giant shit on the Corker bill by forcing a vote on the 19,000 amendments that whacko Republicans have filed, to include one by Marco Rubio demanding that Iran recognize Israel as a Jewish state.

This begs another question: who the fuck is Tom Cotton anyway? His attention-grabbing antics began in 2006, when the New York Times published a story about the CIA and Treasury gaining access to international bank records to follow “terrorists”. Risen and Co. did good journalism, reporting on how far-ranging the program was and bringing attention to the potential for abuse of such a network. Tommy Cotton was in Iraq when that story broke. He did then what he is now infamous for. He wrote a letter to the Times. I’ll put it in full here, this was a long time ago and I think it is an important glimpse into the mentality of this character.

Dear Messrs. Keller, Lichtblau & Risen:

Congratulations on disclosing our government’s highly classified anti-terrorist-financing program (June 23). I apologize for not writing sooner. But I am a lieutenant in the United States Army and I spent the last four days patrolling one of the more dangerous areas in Iraq. (Alas, operational security and common sense prevent me from even revealing this unclassified location in a private medium like email.)

Unfortunately, as I supervised my soldiers late one night, I heard a booming explosion several miles away. I learned a few hours later that a powerful roadside bomb killed one soldier and severely injured another from my 130-man company. I deeply hope that we can find and kill or capture the terrorists responsible for that bomb. But, of course, these terrorists do not spring from the soil like Plato’s guardians. No, they require financing to obtain mortars and artillery shells, priming explosives, wiring and circuitry, not to mention for training and payments to locals willing to emplace bombs in exchange for a few months’ salary. As your story states, the program was legal, briefed to Congress, supported in the government and financial industry, and very successful.

Not anymore. You may think you have done a public service, but you have gravely endangered the lives of my soldiers and all other soldiers and innocent Iraqis here. Next time I hear that familiar explosion — or next time I feel it — I will wonder whether we could have stopped that bomb had you not instructed terrorists how to evade our financial surveillance.

And, by the way, having graduated from Harvard Law and practiced with a federal appellate judge and two Washington law firms before becoming an infantry officer, I am well-versed in the espionage laws relevant to this story and others — laws you have plainly violated. I hope that my colleagues at the Department of Justice match the courage of my soldiers here and prosecute you and your newspaper to the fullest extent of the law. By the time we return home, maybe you will be in your rightful place: not at the Pulitzer announcements, but behind bars.

Very truly yours,

Tom Cotton
Baghdad, Iraq

The military can fry an enfeebled brain, and make its host do and say ridiculous things. It can make you posture up. It can make you think you are what we called a “subject matter expert”. He also thinks he is very sardonic, doesn’t he? The article did nothing to “instruct” anyone how to avoid detection. Besides, I am sure Al-Qaeda and any other organization worth being organized knows how to stay off the grid anyway. Most of the funding probably comes/came from hawala. Furthermore, securing a prosecution under the Espionage Act against a journalist has never been successful. They couldn’t nail Daniel Ellsberg, and what he did was orders of magnitude more damaging to the national security state. In the end, I sincerely doubt that Al-Qaeda read the articles and stopped doing whatever it was they were doing suddenly. I am sure that they are keenly aware that every move they make is being watched. But that didn’t stop Tommy Cotton from disparaging freedom of the press while serving in the military that is supposed to protect and defend the Constitution.

So, truth be told, what we have here is just one more dickhead from the service with half an education, a puffed chest and a big mouth. If you must, here’s a list of other wonderful things about our new senator. Good luck keeping this one on a leash, McConnell. Arkansas should be quarantined-first Huckabee, now this maroon.


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