Speak Easy

The Internet has a big jump on me, but I just thought I’d share my theory on why the entire Republican party is killing itself, just twisting and writhing in every direction to explain away Melania Trump’s remarkable ability to channel Michelle Obama word for word at the Cleveland convention last night.

It isn’t the fact that she, or whoever wrote the speech, stole. I just saw a couple of bits of Barack Obama channeling Deval Patrick when he was just a pup of a Democratic candidate for president. Lord knows every spin machine the Republican organization has running flashed BIDEN BIDEN BIDEN when they got the unfortunate news that they had a cribber on their side. We are not clean whatsoever, we liberals, from the stain of poor scholarship.

It’s really about Michelle Obama and what she stands for. Who she stands for.

Michelle Obama, you see, is a liberal. That is what is killing them-that a Democrat may have authored part of a Republican’s speech.

Icky! Gross.

For as long as I can remember, the Republican party, if they are anything at all, are the party of values. Family values. Patriotic values. Traditional breadbasket of America religious values. If they could apply for a patent on the definition, they would have. No one has a monopoly on the values racket quite the way the GOP does. Without the patina of moral superiority, the modern Republican party might not survive-because all you have left then is a bunch of poor suckers helping rich people help themselves to the public largesse in the hopes that they too will someday be wealthy. Capitalism alone won’t bring home the wins. Values, prudish self-righteous convictions are key.

My point is that this scandal is sickening them because of the source of the plagiarized material. An abortion-eating Islamic devil worshipper like Michelle Obama can’t possibly have a thing to say when it comes to capital V values! That is where the true bitterness about this scandal really lies. Melania Trump, if you listen to her, is all air-just like her husband-but she made the mistake of being pumped up by the rousing speech of a dirty libtard school lunch policing ape socialist Muslim. All the horrible shit you want to think…that’s what is buoying the Republican response to Melania being caught mouthing Democratic words. They despise the story because of the origin of her speech. Had she been snagged lifting a Republican homily, I think the discourse would change a bit. It would be easier to blame the media. It would be easier to accept her plagiarism if it was coming from her side of the ledger. It would be far less embarrassing if she had lifted from David Duke or Lyndon LaRouche. She brought the stink of democracy with her. That is what they cannot abide.

I’d like to give an honorable mention to someone I have typed many nasty words about. His spin on this, however demented, is almost what you could call “nice”. I’m talking about Ben Carson. He hit me in the heart with this:

“Well, I think what we should be thinking about is if Melania’s speech is similar to Michelle Obama’s speech, that should make us all very happy because we should be saying, whether we’re Democrats or Republicans, we share the same values,” the retired neurosurgeon and former Republican presidential candidate told reporters. “That’s what we should be talking about. Not trying to make it into a controversy.”

That’s about as genuine of an emotion that you will get coming from the hot mess that is all things Republican. Savor it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learning A New Language

Hi folks.

It would appear that I have unceremoniously dumped this blog. I think I’ve posted twice this month. Nothing has gotten any better in the world-you would think that equals more to write about, and you may be right.

But I’m going through some changes. I have become a Clozapine patient.

This is supposed to help me think clearer. It has not exactly done that. It has altered my thinking, and clouded it a bit. I am struggling to get over some sort of mental hump, which my doctor says I will overcome in due time.

I started this blog in 2007, occasionally going for political laughs.

If you’ve been with me for a while circa 2011, you know I rechristened this blog as a wild-minded, delusional outburst due to my struggle with bipolar disorder. Many of you laughed while I cried out loud, and that was what I wanted.

I have recovered. In 2015, I took the blog in a new/old direction, concentrating my fire on the right wing in this country once again. Like all bloggers, I did it for myself. And if someone wanted to join me on this journey of agitation for just a couple of minutes a day, then that made me happy.

I had a good head of steam going until I quit my job to become a full time Clozapine user. My doctor has been pushing me to use it ever since I’ve been with her. The drug requires an investment. I have to get my blood tested once a week to ensure the drug isn’t causing something called agranulocytosis, which is a fancy way of saying that your white blood cell count is tanking. One in 100 Clozapine users have this issue. In case you are wondering, as of this writing I am not one of the exceptions.

It causes a laundry list of possible side effects. The two I am struggling with is drooling, and having considerable trouble going from sitting to standing. This drug is work-prohibitive in light of all the new things I am going through to be a patient.

I can manage all of this, if there is a benefit to be had. I am having some clarity, but not enough yet, not enough to balance all this new shit that I’m doing. But I’ve committed to this, and have to see if it gives me relief from my disease.

But anyway, the blog has been dead. Lord knows we live in strange times, and I should be here documenting it. I shall return, soon enough. I just wanted to explain that I’m on some new brain juice and I am not quite comfortable writing in what I think would be a new voice.

Catch you later. Something is going to irritate me to the point of distraction and I’ll need to share it.

A Village Keeps Its Idiot

Thank fuck that even Nevada’s Republicans have a modicum of sanity; Tits McGee is stuck on the farm team. This is a good sign; maybe the crest is breaking and these right-wing maniacs are falling into disfavor. It might be the Trump effect-no Republican is nor will be insulated from Donald Trump’s disgusting megalomania.

I’m so happy for Nevada-that you decided not to support Michelle Fiore for any higher office than that which she already has. You had a choice between boobs, guns and mental illness or something that is recognizable as a governing official.

You chose wisely.

Dashed Hopes

There’s been a rash of non-rational Hollywood has-beens who desperately need attention lately. But the award for biggest dumbshit goes to Stacey Dash, who is still beefing with Barack Obama even though he’s served 7.5 of his eight years. Stacey still thinks it’s 2009:

“We are more divided now than I’ve ever seen in my lifetime,” Dash told radio host Joe Pagliarulo while discussing Obama. “Because he doesn’t like the country.”

I keep hearing this shit about being “divided”. Oh, whatever. Dash is 5 years older than I am and ought to know that we have been “divided” for a long damn time. The last time we were “united” was when someone flew planes into two of America’s most iconic towers. Even I thought it a good idea to start kicking some asses for that stunt. But we’ve been a country that is close to 50/50 leftish and rightish for a good while. But anyway, I haven’t the foggiest idea what she means…I’d be happy to hear about how he divided us and furthermore explain why we require “unity”. That smacks of fascism. Speaking of…

“He’s an Islamic fascist, I believe.”

Oh. Muh. God. Still with this? Still? What is the point of making things up at this juncture? Stacey, he’ll be gone in 5 months. Once again, I am eager to know what Obama has done to get called a fascist.What has he done to earn that label? I got it; Stacey doesn’t know what real fascism looks like from her privileged, passing perch. Moving along:

“He doesn’t like America.”

Fuck you. Barack Obama has saved millions of Americans from bankruptcy by providing affordable healthcare. Stopped the unnecessary deaths of hundreds of American soldiers in Iraq as best he could. Let immigrants come out of the shadows. Didn’t have to keep his food down after saying gay marriage is A-OK. Equal pay for women. There’s a lot more. I’d say the President is crazy about this country. Sure, there’s a list of things that I don’t like that Obama has done but it’s a mighty tiny list in comparison.

“They’ve just politicized Islam and turned it into a fascist government.”

Wow. I don’t know what that means. Very Palinesque.

“The liberal elites own Hollywood,” she said. “And Hollywood dictates the culture of the country. So, as long as they do that, they control the narrative. They control the narrative that is fed to the country. The propaganda.”

“It’s like 21st century Nazism. It’s ridiculous.”

Hollywood dictates the culture? Really? I have never been anything but entertained by Hollywood. I have never seen a movie that has made me change my attitude about “the culture”, which is another thing Stacey wouldn’t be able to define because culture differs everywhere you go in this great land…which to most, is a feature, not a bug. Again, desiring a monolithic “culture” is just a twee bit fascist. What does “the narrative” mean? More bullshit, it’s just all a bunch of made-up nonsense phrases that right wingers parrot after being taught to them by their chosen media outlets. To the best of my knowledge, I haven’t learned a single word device from MSNBC. I may have learned to call Donald Trump Fuckface Von Clownstick from the Daily Show, though.

Then she finishes her dribble by going full Godwin. Which is it, Stacey, Islamic? Fascist? Nazi? I’m surprised you left out communism and socialism because that’s what you do; you just throw around these terms that have important distinctions from each other.

Stacey Dash, while striking, has nothing upstairs. In other words, she’s the perfect “contributor” for outlets like Fox. She’s found a new gig since she’s past her sell date in acting. Eat a dick, tootsie. You are amongst the dividers.

 

It’s Coach For You

Well the thing I feared that would happen in Oklahoma just happened in Virginia:

Tamar Courtney and Morgan Strong have been together for six years and will be getting married this summer in Virginia. They wanted a friend to officiate the ceremony but after facing some difficulties in obtaining his license, they figured they would just go to the county courthouse and take care of the legal paperwork.

They had some issues obtaining a public servant in their home county, so they jumped over to another. They were rebuffed:

Morgan: … am I speaking with Bud Roth?

Roth: This is he.

Morgan: How you doing. I just received a phone call. I guess my fiancee had called up looking to be wed in Franklin County?

Roth: Tamar?

Morgan: Yeah.

Roth: Okay, yeah.

Morgan: Okay… and why was she declined the service?

Roth: Because she’s Agnostic and you’re an atheist. I will not marry you. You don’t believe in God.

Morgan: I mean… but… so that’s your judgment on it, correct?

Roth: That’s my decision. I’m not judging you. I just don’t marry anyone who does not believe in God [or] believes that there is a God someplace.

This is a miscarriage of social justice and I’m utterly repulsed by this treatment of non-believers. I love how in the end, the dickheaded public servant says “I’m not judging you.”

No. You don’t get to say “I’m not judging”, and then judge the couple unworthy of simple civil rights. Typical. Your whole fucking faith is based on circular logic, you sons of bitches. I can’t wait for the lawsuits to fly.

 

I’m Afraid I’m Afraid

My wife’s theory about Donald Trump is that he’s a closet Democrat. She may be right. Hard-right conservatives are appalled that this million dollar moron is going to lead the Republican party. So, perhaps.

My theory? I don’t think he wants to be president. See here. I think he might be scared shitless about running this country because he doesn’t know a thing about governing. Now the smart thing to do if you are in Donald Trump’s camp is to find someone who does, much like when George W. Bush allowed Dick Cheney to conduct policy.

But his short list of veeps just got a new addition: Sarah Palin. She’s already torpedoed one campaign, why not another? Do you see what I’m getting at? There was someone out there who is more repellent and stupider than Donald Trump, and he found her. If anything, his presidency will be unimpeachable were he to choose birdbrain for vice-president. No Democrat in his or her right mind would breathe the word because they know what the alternative is. But still, I think he’s trying to scare people away from him. He’s Dr. Frankenstein, and he knows it.

This country is so alarmingly fucked up. There’s a possible future that President Palin exists in. While Democrats fight amongst each other fecklessly, Donald Trump’s doing whatever it is that he is truly doing. He might be running a serious campaign for president. I can’t tell. And that spells danger for all of us.

While you worry, enjoy this Palinism generator. It captures the essence of her run-on, un-diagrammable style of speech quite well.

Onward Christian Soldiers

Republicans are in a real bind these days. They can’t do a thing to upset their constituency, unless your name is Donald Trump. But anyway, they can’t lose the Christian bible-humping right where a subset exists that is homophobic, and as we have seen from Target Lady, transphobic as well. It’s crucial that Republicans keep this group in their tent.

However, behind closed doors, even they get tired of overweening Christian displays:

Allen’s comments upset some members, who walked out of the Republican policy meeting in protest.

“It was f—ing ridiculous,” one Republican member in the room told The Hill.

“A good number of members were furious,” a Republican told Politico about Allen’s remarks. “There was some Scripture that was read and the like.”.

That’s my senator. I am sorry. My state gave you Jody Hice and this asshole.

Smarter minds than mine will eventually tease out why conservatives, the wing of personal liberty, consistently find themselves legislating some people’s morality against others. Lord only knows what their issue is. The reasoning is barely perceptible. They can’t all be closet homos, can they? The Bible is full of things people don’t believe are relevant any more, even Christians-why pick on LGBT folk?

If you are scared of non-traditional sex, and I believe that is the case, don’t engage in it and don’t look at it. Oh, you may have to see a float at a parade, but I’m sure the Lord can provide a special dispensation of forgiveness for viewing such perversity. And don’t go to college either, where you might find everything you know is wrong.

Unbreakable Kimmy Davis

Kim Davis, World’s Ugliest Person Inside And Out, is still blithering to anyone who will listen to her about her beef with teh gay and their marriaging. She should have fucking relegated herself to hiding in a cloister but no, our special snowflake chose public service. As you well know, that is not something she is good at because she thinks some public is better than other public.

On the latest episode of “Truths That Transform” from D. James Kennedy Ministries, the organization’s president, Frank Wright, interviewed Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis about her fight against the Supreme Court’s gay marriage decision, during which she refused to allow her office to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples because doing so conflicted with her religious beliefs.

“I was obeying my law,” she insisted.

Sweetcakes, no one has their own law. If we do, then I would like to tax the public for a rainy day fund dedicated to me for traveling the world, acquiring the best opium Afghanistan has to offer and I want to hire the entire Vivid stable to give me blow jobs twice a day. That is my law.

Hm. No one seems interested in my new edict. If I can’t have mine, Kim, neither can you. You were tasked to help the public but got icked out by two dudes wanting to love each other.

So now Kim, though not all that bright, decided to play semantics with some of the unfortunate couples:

“I had couples bring in the whole Supreme Court ruling and I said, ‘You know, I really don’t need to see this because that’s not a law, that’s a ruling.’

Yes. Correct. The one that doesn’t allow the government to make its own laws regarding gay marriage, You ma’am, like it or not, are bound to not do that, as part of a government operation. You and your kind tried to make your own law, and now it is unconstitutional. Your “law” is what caused the Obergfell  “ruling” to happen in the first place.

“And so then I go to the Bible and I’d tell them, [and they’d respond,] ‘Don’t be reading me the Bible.’ Well, you asked why I couldn’t issue you a marriage license and I’m explaining to you, I’m showing you why I cannot. They didn’t want to hear that though. They wanted to shove that paper down my throat and make me eat it for my dinner.”

If I was gay and wanted to get married, I’d probably want to make you eat that paper too or at least brain you upside the head with it for your obstinacy and your bible-thumping. You passed judgment-something I believe you are not to do as a Christian. You used god’s book to make them lesser beings.

I hope you feel good about it, you stupid bitch. I thought you were gone but you’re going to milk this shit for all it is worth.

 

Doubting Thomas

Well, wouldn’t you know it, Clarence Thomas can speak. He’s been caught napping at oral arguments and never writes an opinion or examines a case. He’s as useless as a football bat on the bench, a cipher and rubber stamper of all decisions conservative.

The term “political correctness” has been beaten like a dog who just took a wet shit on your carpet. We’ve rendered it totally meaningless. When conservatives use the phrase, it means “I am about to be an asshole because it’s my right”. To liberals like me, I like inclusive language that doesn’t leave out or offend minorities. I am not 100% good at this, and nobody really is. We try our best not to make mistakes.

So it is with this in mind that I present to you Clarence Thomas speaking(!) at a commencement:

Clarence Thomas addressed the connection between liberty and personal responsibility in a powerful commencement address yesterday, lamenting what he called “a bygone era” of the “hallmarks of my youth”.

“Do not hide your faith and your beliefs under a bushel basket, especially in this world that seems to have gone mad with political correctness.”

Using his upbringing on a farm as a frame of reference, Thomas said that these days, “hallmarks of my youth, such as patriotism and religion, seem more like outliers, if not afterthoughts.”

“In that context, when we heard the words ‘duty,’ ‘honor,’ ‘country,’ no more needed to be said. But that is a bygone era.”

And so on.

Let’s slow down, ace. The world is not going “mad” because people try to approach things in a non-offensive manner. I’m very sorry that you can’t speak without being a jerk. Fuck you.

Furthermore, as a good regressive(a better word than conservative sometimes), he pines for the olden days that don’t exist.

You lived on a farm, brother. The bygone era you are referring to is an era where blacks and whites had their own separate water fountains and had food dumped on their head when one of them dared to eat a the Woolworth’s counter. It was an era where blacks had to battle firehoses and dogs to get the slightest amount of justice. It was a time when a young black boy was chained to a truck and dragged to death by whites.

Still think your idyll exists, farm boy? Wrong. You’re the worst kind of sellout, with the typical Republican way of thinking that just because something does or does not happen to you, it doesn’t exist.

An Asshole Returns

Ben Carson, my erstwhile Oreo cookie whipping boy of this year’s pack of shitsacks otherwise known as Republican “candidates” has belched some more moral sewage into the political arena by suggesting that it’s wrong to judge Donald Trump regarding his lascivious treatment of the women surrounding him, because Christian:

Dr. Ben Carson argued on Sunday that Christians should not “judge” GOP presidential front-runner Donald Trump based on his treatment of women.

Carson argued that Trump had “elevated a lot of women in his organization.”

“So as a Christian, what I do do is not judge everybody,” he said. “And that seems to be something that a lot of people have got into. ‘I’m better than you are.’ Give me a break. Let’s just stop for a moment.”

So, using Uncle Ben’s logic, even a rapist or a killer is not worthy of judgement. I’ve run into this bullshit before; Christians judge all the livelong day, but then of course when the tables have turned on them and someone judges them, they say that “only God is fit to judge”.

Whatever. It is hardwired into us to judge. Without the ability to judge, I might walk into heavy traffic because my brain is incapable of spotting danger. It applies to politics; you’re damn right I judge because I don’t want your crazy ass or your friend of the week anywhere near high office. Judging, it turns out, is how you gain your sense of self. Denying this evolutionary advantage is absurd, but that is the Christian way-to deny our basic instincts.

Donald Trump is right. This election is gonna be great, the best.

 

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