I’m Trying, Janine

To my post-adolescent mind, Janine Turner, along with Gillian Anderson, were the hottest girls to grace the tiny tube in the ’90s. They were also strong female characters; neither of them were sexualized (at least not in the show). That was a shame for me, who probably would have jerked off to a picture of them that showed a hint of cleavage or a leggy pose from them were I the tender age of 14. There I go again, dating and embarrassing myself. But, this blog is part politics, part religion hating and part confessional. I doubt anyone is going to judge me anyway. I tell the truth here, and if you don’t like it, go away.

But let’s flash forward to Janine Turner today. Sadly, she has become a pod person. And boy howdy, does she ever peddle the conservative goods in a manner unseen since Sarah Palin took the stage. Melissa Harris Perry of MSNBC wondered if there was a racial component to the character of Darth Vader in Star Wars. Was he black because he was on the darkside, and when he was revealed to be white, was he on the good side? It’s an interesting question; one that I have no business answering because I’m white and will never see the world through a black person’s lens. Janine scoffed at the question, and this is what dribbled out:

Turner responded to Harris Perry on Monday by warning that “political correctness is going to be responsible for killing more Americans.”

“Regarding Darth Vader, please!” she exclaimed. “The Bible talks darkness and light. This is about evil and good. Darkness and light.”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with anything else, this goes back to biblical times,” she continued. “It’s been discussed in the Bible, Jesus talks about it. It’s about darkness and light, evil and good.”

According to the actress, the discussion of racial issues in Star Wars is the kind of rhetoric that is “ruining our country and putting us in this clear and present danger.”

I can only guess that Janine thinks that a race war is coming, but political correctness  cannot kill. It may annoy or make someone reflect, but what the fuck is she going on about? Then she makes some bizarre reference to the Bible and Jesus. What the blazes does that have to do with Star Wars? Good and evil existed before his holiness hit the planet.

To top off this stupid sundae, Janine waves around the Constitution, thinking she understands it:

Turner said that she had found a clause in the Constitution (Article I, Section 10, Clause 3) that would allow “the states to take this back into their own hands.”

Because the states were facing “imminent danger” they could come together and form their own union to deal with immigration and other issues, she advised.

“We’re in clear and present danger, we’re beyond imminent,” Turner opined. “So the states can legally and constitutionally come together to defend the American people.”

I know, right? The sky is falling, the spooks are going to kill us, and decentralization of power is the cure for everything. Because that’s worked so well for us-when you let states decide shit, you get Jim Crow, slave states and free states, segregation and other modern problems that I won’t go into because it isn’t relevant. Again, what is she talking about? A new nation? Isn’t it contradictory to say that states should not be bound to the federal government, but we must come together?

Janine’s had a little too much Fox News. She’s an incoherent mess and an alarmist, like most Republicans. It’s sad, watching one of your earliest crushes become an idiot. Fox is slowly becoming the Love Boat of cable news; chock full of has-beens who toe the conservative line.

 

 

Poor Ken Ham

Religion, for the most part, is perpetuated by guilt of some sort. You have done wrong and you need redemption. For an atheist, we bear our guilt and make amends to whomever we have harmed. There’s no middle man involved. Atheists ask people for forgiveness, the religious keep apologizing to God.

It is therefore assumed that God has been wicked to us because we have been so wicked to him. The wrath of Jehovah is irrational, just like any god. He destroys at will and blames it on his poor creations, whom if he were real he would make them perfect again, in the garden, blissful and sated.

But instead we are left to fend for ourselves. And so evolved disease, pestilence, war, poverty and a host of other afflictions. Ken Ham, unsurprisingly, believes this. God is still the temper tantrum throwing deity of the Old Testament. He doesn’t even focus on the cleansing blood of Jesus a whole lot. His bag as of late is to try to make Genesis real, somehow. I think he thinks if he can pull that off, the rest of the Bible would be cake to explain. For it is that book that is the linchpin of Christian belief: that people are cursed to be sinners all the days of their lives. It’s the book that practically everyone has read at some time or another, with varying effects upon the reader. You have two choices; get scared, or just ignore this unbelievable, fatuous supernatural jive and live your life as if it were going to end soon, which sadly it will one day.

So anyway, Ken must be some sort of newbie to Twitter. I don’t tweet myself, but from what I understand it’s a gladiator match, a royal rumble of insults and smackdowns. Ken let go a flurry of poopy-pantsed tweets, gathering the attention of many detractors. Ken’s lack of critical thinking should be obvious to everyone. No one who isn’t brainwashed already could say that Ken Ham is a deep thinker. Maybe if you believe in this angry god, you’re much more likely to find logic somewhere in his blithering. But was he drunk when he thundered on Twitter recently? There is no other excuse for waking up the twitterverse with such obvious goading.

Dude, you got your tax exemption for your fantasy park. Shut the fuck up and count your blessings instead of our sins. The internet is not going to be nice. Maybe you get off on that. I don’t know. You are irredeemable, in this life at least.

And fuck you for poisoning the minds of young children before they are able to think for themselves. We eagerly await your atonement for that sin.

 

And There’s Some Evil Mothers

My kids wear a shirt that says, “The thing about science is that it’s true whether you believe it or not”.

That about nails it.But as you may have noticed, some people are having issues with the facts that teachers tell children. They shut down talk of sex. They whine about “new math”(which is only a paper representation of what your brain does anyway). And, they get positively apoplectic when evolution is taught.

In sum, these poor kids who have to suffer this will go into the world very ignorant of basic reality. Some call it child abuse. I don’t know if I’d go that far, but I bristle when I get told that I have a religion because I believe in evolution:

A federal court rejected the argument from a Christian group in Kansas which said that evolution was religious “indoctrination” and should not be taught in schools.

COPE said that teaching evolution took children “into the religious sphere by leading them to ask ultimate religious questions like what is the cause and nature of life and the universe – ‘where do we come from?’”

What? Huh? These are not religious questions. The’re fundamentally existential. Everyone asks these questions at some point, and not all of them come to a conclusion that we are here because of a god.

You know, I have got to hand it to the court system lately. Even in a bass-ackward state like Kansas judges know that something stinks about their claims about the school system endangering children:

But the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver last week upheld a lower court’s ruling which said that COPE lacked standing to bring the suit because it could not show that it had been harmed.

Bam. Case closed. Sanity rules the day. Blow it out your ass, Christians. Your quest to make your kids dumb is thwarted, at least for the time being.

 

 

Hunker Down On Bobo

Yet another anti-gay evangelist who likes dick ‘fesses up to the fact that he’s gay. But God saved him from continuing to yearn to go balls deep on a big schlong, cutting off his airway, and he’s all better now:

A prominent anti-gay Catholic blogger has admitted that he had “live-in relationships with homosexual men” in the past.

He has previously rallied against “militant gays” who “violently promote the gay agenda of free disordered sexual behavior, redefine marriage into extinction and aggressively wear down those who don’t approve of the gay lifestyle”.

And just as the church was ready to out him, he confesses:

In a video this week, he admitted to engaging in “sins of a sexual nature” with other men, claiming the New York archdiocese was planning to exploit his “past life” and use it against him.

He said: “For most of my years in my thirties, confused about my own sexuality, I lived a life of live-in relationships with homosexual men.

He added: “These are the sins of my past life in this area which are all now publicly admitted and owned by me. That was before my reversion to the Faith.

Sad. Poor fucker. I really feel bad for him. Putting yourself back in the closet must be horrifying. But, I guess God has his back so he can stop taking cock in his backside. And now he’s back to his anti-gay ways. So fuck him. I have little sympathy for these people who rail against the homosexual lifestyle only to find out they are faggots. I’ve seen his type before. Go on and torture yourself.

 

I Bet He Jerked Off More Than I Did

I believe in the right to free speech. I don’t even mind stretching it a little to gain justice or promote fairness. But this is not only a bridge too far, it’s hilarious:

The sponsor of a recently passed Utah resolution declaring that “pornography is creating a public health crisis” appeared on the Family Research Council’s “Washington Watch” program yesterday to defend the measure, which the governor signed on Tuesday, and allege that the availability of pornography is violating his “First Amendment right to not view it.”

State Sen. Todd Weiler, a Republican, urged libraries and McDonalds restaurants with WiFi to block pornography websites, claiming that he has heard anecdotally that children go to McDonalds to view pornographic websites: “I said to McDonalds, ‘You’re a family restaurant and you market to children, why would you want to be a purveyor of pornography?’”

“That’s what I think is often lost in the First Amendment discussion,” Weiler said, “because someone may have the First Amendment right, according to the U.S. Supreme Court, to view pornography, but what about my First Amendment right to not view it?” 

I have never, ever considered my right to watch pornography  a First Amendment issue. I never considered it to be a right granted by the federal government. Whacking your doodle in the confines of your home does not count as an act of speech. I hope this guy’s not a lawyer, because he really needs to brush up on what the First means and what it doesn’t. Matter of fact, there’s a rumor going around that there may be more than two amendments to the Constitution. What I am given to understand is that a man should be secure in his houses, papers and effects-and as long as I am looking at actresses(or actors if that’s your thing) who are 18 and older you can dry up and blow away. If I want to watch Julie Ashton(dating myself here) blow two dudes in clown masks, that’s my biz. Not my speech, but my privacy, dummy. You don’t get to use the First to stop anyone’s Fourth.

Nobody is opening your eyes and forcing you to watch a la A Clockwork Orange. You don’t like porn, I get it. Everyone hears that. This is your right to free speech. That’s about as far as it goes, stupid. Make your locale porn-free. Be my guest. But I warn you, fighting porn is like playing Whack-A-Mole these days. The simple thing for you to do is not watch it, instead of making a jackass out of yourself and an embarrassment to your constituents by wielding that document erroneously. Shove your anecdotes. Those screens are too small to get your wank on anyway.

 

Forgive And Forget, But Damn…

I think years of prison really go to work on a person. That goes double for the soul crushing experience of solitary confinement, which I consider to be cruel and unusual. If you did your long penance and renounced your wicked ways, that should be the end of it. You have been punished by losing your time. That’s the real bitch being in the pen.

But some people…some people should be locked up for a good while. When you sodomize a 13 year old child with a razor at her neck, you need to think about that shit for a long time. So I think this guy I’m about to introduce to you belongs behind bars because he’s a child sodomizer, but instead he becomes part of a church outreach.

I get it. I really do. I agree with the pastor that:

” … if you steal a piece of candy from a store because you were young and stupid and make stupid mistakes, alright, you’re still a thief even though now you’re 40-years-old?”

Unfortunately, Pastor Dingaling, shoplifting is a victimless crime and not comparable to raping a teenager at razorpoint. Each should be punished, but they’re not even in the same ballpark.

The pastor in question is nuts, by the way. Why? Listen to this:

“This is a situation if that girls chooses…it takes two to tango, okay? So if that girl chooses to sleep with him, she’s just as guilty as he is,” the pastor said.

So, to paraphrase to good pastor, if she’s being raped and threatened with a weapon, she helped with the rape.

Some of you Christians make me fucking sick. How can you vilify women and cover for a violent rapist? Is that really how you want to play this?

Things To Stop Doing

I am an Iraq war veteran. I came back with a case of PTSD and a biploar flareup. I subsequently went crazy in 2011.  I made it to nine years, and am currently permanently disabled from service-connected injury.

One of the weird things you say to me is “thanks for your service”.

The Army, as it happens, was the first straight gig I ever had. I was a failure at life until I joined. I became a soldier out of necessity. Do not thank me for stopping the trainwreck that I called a life by joining.

You also call me a hero who defended your freedom. No. I defended Halliburton’s rights to Iraqi oil. You did not gain an increase in freedom from me and my cohorts as we tore Iraq apart.

It was 13 years ago. Let it lie. What we’re really all about and what you are all about can be found in a great article here.

 

Going Medieval

In our little war on terror, the United States engendered some of the worst torture ever seen by a first world country in decades. The idea was: if you leave marks, then you are torturing. But there’s dozens of ways to torture without obvious physical harm.

We tore up the rulebook and devised our own insane tactics, some of which I don’t want to think about because it depresses me.

Guess who else likes to torture?

Israel. The have a way of torturing Palestinians in “a chair” by binding their arms to their ankles. Your airways are restricted and you can piss all over yourself if the torturer really wants to make a point.

Our interrogators learned that horrid shit from the Jews.

This era is still full of barbarism. That much is obvious. But modern nations should know better.

Keep It Like A Secret

The evangelist, Pentecostal movement that is growing in America needs to do one thing, if they do anything:

Save souls. It’s a little confusing. They have personal relationships with Jesus, but they need to tell other people about it.

Every non-Christian and Catholic knows how annoying this is, except for the few that get scared of eternal punishment and profess fealty to Christ during a “witnessing”. They’re just as pesky as Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses, without the door knocking. Now, it’s your dad or your mom who has found Jesus by going to a charismatic church and dancing and flailing about because the Holy Spirit moved them. Then they learn how to say very long prayers when you are hungry. All of it is a pain in the ass.

So, to show you just how far this “witnessing” goes, see here:

A 14-year-veteran of the Indiana State Police was fired Thursday for allegedly proselytizing to people he stopped for traffic violations.

The lawsuit claims Hamilton gave Pyle a warning ticket for speeding, then asked her what church she attended and whether she was saved.

She says she did not feel free to leave while the questions were being asked. She filed a formal complaint about the stop. 

Well, it’s good to know that someone thinks this is not OK. It’s not religious freedom. It’s harassment, if you want to boil it down. Your intentions are good, officer. But shut up anyway.

 

 

 

Today In “Dick Move, Cops”

It’s actually more than a dick move in one case because a girl with bipolar disorder is shot to death after her family asks police for help.

When Melissa Boarts of Montgomery, Alabama left home after threatening to commit suicide on Sunday, April 3, her parents called 911 hoping that someone would intervene to keep her from harming herself. To their horror, Auburn Police Department instead gunned her down.

Boarts suffered from bipolar disorder and was experiencing acute depression. She had scheduled an appointment for May to seek more effective medication for her disorder. Her parents, Terry and Michael Boarts, had come to her house on Sunday to pick up Melissa’s two-year-old daughter, Skylar, for their weekly outing. Boarts suddenly drove off, threatening to slit her wrists with a pocket knife.

When Melissa stopped at a rest area on Interstate 85, the family panicked, fearing that she would carry out her threats to cut her wrists. Realizing that traffic would prevent them from reaching her quickly, they called 911.

“We were thinking they could get her help,” Terry Boarts told the Montgomery Advertiser. She explained to the dispatcher that Melissa was bipolar and was threatening self-harm.

When the Boarts finally caught up to their daughter, a helicopter hovered overhead, and fourteen police cruisers surrounded her car. They were unable to see what was going on; the dispatcher told them simply that Melissa’s car had stopped. They sat at the scene for hours, assuming that her car had left the road and hit a tree. Finally, Michael Boarts asked for information from a police sergeant who was leaving the scene. “All I know,” the sergeant replied, “is that there is one female casualty.”

Are the Alabama police that bored that they have to respond to a suicide call with an army? What a fucking tragedy. Beyond tragedy. An atrocity.

Meanwhile, a school officer body slams a 12 year old:

San Antonio Independent School District Officer Joshua Kehm was captured on video brutally body-slamming a 12-year-old girl who attends Rhodes Middle School. 

…the kids in the hallway had been anticipating a fight between her and another girl.

“I was going up to her to tell her let’s go somewhere else so we could talk but that’s when the cop thought I was going at her,” Janissa says.

Police violence must be stopped. If you can’t bring a 12 year old to heel with anything other than a suplex, you’re in the wrong line of work.

 

 

 

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