Cruz Control

There is a secret conversation that has happened in the wake of the gay marriage decision.

Should we remove tax-exempt status from churches if they are going to get involved in politics?

Now, no one serving in government today is angling to strip it. But that doesn’t stop Ted Cruz for manufacturing a hullabaloo about it:

In an interview with Glenn Beck last Thursday, Ted Cruz once again badly misrepresented an exchange between Solicitor General Donald Verrilli and Justice Samuel Alito during Supreme Court arguments on the constitutionality of gay marriage bans, telling Beck’s listeners that the Obama administration may soon try to strip churches of their tax-exempt status if their pastors refuse to officiate gay couples’ weddings.

Verrilli never said that. But perhaps Cruz is onto something; maybe it’s time to look at churches and their tax status. After all, they are barely restraining themselves from electioneering from the pulpit-why not just let ’em have at it? There’s no proper policing of that law anyway.

Fuck it. They’ll live. They have scores of fools to shower them with money-in fact, the revocation will probably open pocketbooks a little bit more because they are finally saying what the flock really wants to hear. And they’re being very selective about what part of the First Amendment they like.They’ll accept the curtailment of their freedom of speech in exchange for tax-free lucre. Which to worship-Mammon or the Lord? We know who wins out in the end.

Dumb Dynasty

In their neverending quest to remain Palinesquely relevant, the Duck Dynasty folks sporadically issue brain-vomit from their faceholes about something they don’t understand. Each utterance is somehow exponentially more stupid than the last one.

They really have a problem with atheists. We are told by Phil Robertson that we must rape, mutilate and kill because we have no God to tell us how to behave. That was a good one. But now I’m being told that I don’t exist:

There’s no such thing as an atheist, according to one of the stars of the reality TV show “Duck Dynasty.”

Si Robertson, known to fans of the show as “Uncle Si,” told the Christian Post that anyone who uses the date is acknowledging Jesus.

“There’s no such thing as an atheist,” Robertson told the website. “I’m serious, because there’s too much documentation. Our calendars are based on Jesus Christ. Whether you believe in him or not, every time you sign your calendar, you add down the day’s date, you’re saying he’s here, OK? That’s documented.”

Sign my calendar? Add down what? Does not compute. But the ramifications of such a stance is what is sad here. Apparently I can’t “be” if I acknowledge anything that has to do with Jesus. Does that mean there are no Jews, no Muslims, no Hindus, no Buddhists, etc.? Oh, those are false religions, if you ask these simpletons.

Let’s turn this around. Philosophical history is full of atheist thought. None other than our Founders created a government that would be free of religion. That’s documented.

Poof. Bye, God.

Apparently Si has not heard of the “Common Era” that people the world over use. Just because Christianity rolled roughshod over every other cult does not mean that everyone needs to believe in Christ, obviously. All of them exist. So do I, Si. We’ll just have to live with each other.

Slow Train Coming

We’re almost there.

Diplomats said Saturday that Iran and six world powers have reached tentative agreement on sanctions relief for Tehran, among the most contentious issues in a long-term nuclear agreement that negotiators hope to clinch over the next several days.

We’re on a roll, America. Let’s keep making history. Happy Independence Day! Now go get inappropriately shitted up and don’t blow your fingers off.

To Be Expected

Fox News’ stable of pundits and commentators are easily the most witless fuckbags ever to stink up a TV channel lineup. They’re out there every day being wrong about something. I couldn’t pass this up:

Townhall editor and Fox News contributor Katie Pavlich accused New York City mayor Bill de Blasio of being a fascist for reviewing business relationships with 2016 presidential candidate Donald Trump.

“This is the problem,” Katie Pavlich said Thursday on Fox News’ The Five. “What Bill de Blasio is doing by going through all of the contracts that they already put in place with the city — this is called fascism, when you get into the middle of — going retroactively to look at business deals that have already been made based on legality and law and business, and you go back and say, we don’t like what you said, so we’re going to take away your livelihood and punish your businesses. That is fascism.”

The word “fascism” has been defined down to the point where anything one does not agree with is called it. There is some debate about what constitutes actual fascism, but its basic principles are ultra-nationalism and the projection of The State as the ultimate expression of civilization. It is paranoid and authoritarian. North Korea is probably the closest analogue of it that we have today. What Katie alludes to is a far cry from fascism. You just can’t go throwing that word around simply because you oppose someone else’s thinking. Unless, of course, they are thinking like a fascist. A real one, not this fuckery of language which has become all too common in our discussions.

I’m sorry, twitterbird, but what is at work here is one of your favorite things-the “free market”. If Bill DeBlasio doesn’t think Donald Trump is a good business partner, he can terminate that relationship and do business elsewhere. Hate to break it to you, but Donald Trump is much like a fascist himself. He’s obsessed with the primacy of America, and doesn’t want “foreigners” because they debase The State.

It’s your system that allows what you think is Bad. It’s the “marketplace of ideas” that Trump is failing in, babe.

Last Jerks Standing

Parts of Alabama are going to whine themselves into contempt:

Yes, Alabama’s probate judges have to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, a federal judge in Mobile clarified on Wednesday.

But at least six counties are holding out. Probate offices in Elmore County, Tuscaloosa County, and Escambia County are not issuing the same-sex marriage licenses. And, the probate offices in Randolph County, Colbert County, and Lauderdale County are not issuing any marriage licenses.

Explaining their actions, many of these probate office officials cited Alabama Supreme Court Chief Roy Moore’s controversial claim that no probate judge has to issue a same-sex marriage license for 25 days during a rehearing period for the U.S. Supreme Court decision.

But even The Dishonorable Judge Roy Moore is wussing out on his own proclamation:

At first today, Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore said a state supreme court order effectively kept probate judges from issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples for 25 days.

Moore, however, later backtracked.

“What the order means is that within that 25-day period no (probate judge) has to issue a marriage license to a same sex couple,” Moore said.

Moore said that if he implied that the order prohibited the issuing of marriage license to same-sex couples then he misspoke.

Roy Moore is an embarrassment to benches everywhere. His offenses against good judgment are here. Impeach this clown now, Alabama-or vote him out. Until you do, you are hereby quarantined.

See A Doctor

Don’t do your religion any favors by prophesying when what you have is a mental condition:

On Tuesday’s edition of “Trunews,” End Times broadcaster Rick Wiles delivered a eulogy for America and lamented that “the America I knew and loved is dead, rest in peace. It will not be resurrected.” Wiles cited the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize marriage equality as the cause of our nation’s untimely death, calling the ruling “the final abomination.”

The fire and brimstone tribute to America ended with Wiles’ assertion that “the final abomination” was upon us, which Wiles said was a reference to a dream Pastor T.D. Hale had in 2005. In his dream, Wiles said, Hale saw an American Eagle shot down in the Oval Office, with a voice saying “Weep in the house, for the misery that shall come shortly.”

Hale envisioned a smirking President Obama, dressed in all black, stepping out from behind his desk and twisting off the Eagle’s head.

“His chest cavity was open,” Wiles narrated, “The heart was exceedingly evil with thick black smoke swirling around Obama’s heart.” Obama then picked up a gavel and a voice overhead gravely proclaimed “The final abomination.”

What the hell does Obama have to do with same-sex marriage? He came out in support of it in 2012, seven years after this “prophecy”. The Supreme Court is solely responsible for equality. Has Hale been munching on Jimson weed or peyote? That would make sense. But Obama invading your nightmares? Get your head checked, dude.

This is your brain on evangelical Christianity, folks.

Broad Way

I believe in progress. I think that while there may be temporary setbacks to freedom and prosperity for all, the arc of history will bend towards the little guy eventually. They got the guns, but we got the numbers.

I think we will have universal broadband, or at least a form of subsidized national broadband soon. I can’t put a date on it, but it is undeniable that every person is going to need the Internet to do basic things. Finland is the only country to have realized that Internet access is a right.

But the telecoms aren’t going to let go of their rapacious domination of the broadband market. They’re making millions upon millions gouging people for shitty service. They put the lie to the idea that private enterprise does everything better. And they’ve got the high-powered lawyers and lobbyists trying to stop municipal Internet from arsing in various places. Now they’ve got states piling on regulations restricting the rise of government-supplied access. It’s an uphill battle. I remain optimistic, perhaps foolishly.

I would be happy to pay a tax to give everyone the ‘net. And any politician who championed this idea would see their favorables jump through the roof. One of these days they will have to choose people over profits if they want to have the power that comes from being elected.

Forward. It’s a new century! We always hear politicians say that America is a leader. How about we act like it for once?

Spreading Love

Let me be clear; I am not a fan of any religion. But it probably looks like I just bash Christians.

I need to be more, er, inclusive in my disdain. It only seems like I have a bone to pick with Christians-but that’s only because you are the dominant religion in America. You’re everywhere, and I catch you looking stupid more often than I do any other faith.

I’ll fix it. I think that this picture I am about to post is fucking awesome and should be shared like crazy.


There, I’ve insulted someone else. Thank you, Atheist Republic. Up you go on the ‘roll.

Sad Little People

Some pigfucker in Tennessee is taking the anti-gay backlash in the wake of the marriage decision to a new level; he’s announced a no-fag policy in his shitty little business. To no one’s surprise, he invokes God to justify his homophobia:

“They gladly stand for what they believe in — why can’t I?” Amyx told WBLR. “They believe their way is right, I believe it’s wrong — but yet I’m going to take more persecution than them because I’m standing for what I believe in.”

So he placed a “no gays allowed” sign on the front door of his Washburn hardware store and said Monday that he would never take it down.

“A lot of people have called me and congratulated me,” Amyx told WATE-TV. “But other calls are on the other side of spectrum — people calling and threatening me, telling me I would regret this. No, I’ll never regret this.”

In lovely Tennessee, you see, it’s perfectly legal to refuse service based on sexual orientation. They and Arkansas are the only two states that ban nondiscrimination laws. Homosexuals have no specific rights to service at a place of business because so far we lack the courage to fold gay rights into Title II of the Civil Rights Act. It’s a shitty situation that needs attention, and it should remind us of the inherent wrongness of the lunch counter bans of the 60’s.

There is a small victory to be noted here. Even his paying customers were alarmed by the sign:

However, Amyx removed the sign Tuesday and replaced it with another one bearing a revised message at the urging of friends and customers who suggested he make it “a little nicer.”

The new sign reads: “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone who would violate our rights of freedom of speech and freedom of religion.”

Sadly, he can do that. It’s not against the law to be a horrible person in Tennessee. Until the federal government addresses this issue, there is no limit to jerkoff behavior in the smelly groin area of the United States.

Marriage equality has been achieved. But so much more remains to be done. I’m confident the side of tolerance and acceptance will win in due time. For now, we must take joy in their cries of persecution as the bigots realize that their right to religious belief stops at being able to abridge the fundamental right of any person to achieve life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

And Then My Mind Split Open

Do you require a pretty face to help you pay attention to a speaker? Here, watch a cute girl make you feel as tiny as a quark as she tries to teach you what every single school you went to didn’t or couldn’t.


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